Why You Need These Kinds of Teacher Friends

Why You Need These Kinds of Teacher Friends

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You know by now that having friends at work is key. Teaching is hard, and you need someone to pick you up on the rough days and to celebrate with you on the good ones. One thing I’ve learned over several years of teaching at different schools, though, is that you need to cultivate variety in your teacher friend base:

The Sassy Friend: This is the person you go to when you have tried to be sugar sweet to your kids all day, but someone in the situation is just being a/an [insert your own bad word here. This is a Catholic blog, guys.] For me, this is my friend Kate, who loves the kids to pieces but has just the right turn of phrase when the seventeen-year-olds are acting a whole lot like three-year-olds.

The Holy Friend: Okay, okay, I’ll admit it. This is me. I am not holy but am good at faking it, and when people come to me to complain, I’ll listen and then offer some nice words that end with something like, “The Lord is pleased with your efforts, even when things don’t turn out the way you’d like them to…actually, especially in those cases.” This is sometimes helpful, but not always, which is why you need your other peeps.

The “Let Me Take That One for You” Friend: I have only found two of these in my eight years, but they are awesome and worth waiting for. This is the person who says, Let me put on my department chair/lead teacher hat and just do whatever you’re trying to do but it isn’t working. As in, talk with that scary parent, say nice things to the principal on your behalf, coordinate yet another after school activity for your middle schoolers, or take your class at the last minute so you can actually catch a deep breath. Shout out to my friends Adam and Erin, who are true gems in this regard.

The “Let’s Drink” Friend: I’m mostly kidding on this one, but let’s just say that only certain people secretly stash champagne in their office and pull it out at just the right time, like to kick off Christmas Break. And only certain people agree to meet you after work for a drink and have already had a cold one by themselves by the time you arrive at the bar. I won’t name names here, but you know who you are, and I love you for it. For the record, I am pretty bad at drinking, but I dig the experience of hanging out in a dimly-lit booth with a Jack and Coke in hand.

The Chipper in a Non-Annoying Way Friend: I know a thing or two about being chipper in the annoying way due to my problem of rising early, drinking coffee, and accomplishing too much by 6 am, but I also know an amazing someone who comes by my room regularly before school and is cheery in the best possible way. Susan, who literally rises early so she can read the Gospel, eat her oatmeal and play with her cat Fred (or knit a sock) before school begins, is the most fun person to be with in the morning ever. She has a knack for being real about the crappy things in life yet delighted by the little things in life. When I found out that she often has a 10 am cookie break, I was like, “I want to be just like Susan when I grow up.” More than that, she has this uncanny way of showing up on days when I am feeling blue. Whoever in your life fits this bill, they deserve a big pat on the back today.

The Snide Email Replier Friend: I can always count on Jeff for the quickest and snarkiest email responses. Let’s be honest: No matter how efficiency-minded you are at work, there’s always time for a good back-and-forth with someone about less serious topics. Each year, we engage in a half-friendly, half-serious debate with Adam about what color paper we should use to copy our final exams. (The dilemmas of high school English teachers, right?) Jeff has been known to send very picky preferences…who knew there was such a difference between yellow and goldenrod…but he never ceases to entertain me. The best part about such email replier friends, as you’ve probably found, is you get to sneak that fun colleague banter into your day, even with people whom you don’t normally see often in person.

The Lunch Buddy Friend: You may need this friend for several reasons: You love lunch and like to get there as early as possible without looking greedy, so you bring a friend. You need a midday break to either a) vent or b) talk about something totally unrelated to work, like your favorite musicians from the 70s (shout out to Edward and Arthur!!) Or, you need someone to force you to stop working and actually be kind to yourself (shout out to Julie!). Whatever the reason, this is the person who cracks you up, offers you freeze-dried mango, and reminds you that there’s much more to life than your little bubble. They rock.

The Funny Stories Friend: Kids do dumb things in class and so do teachers. My friend Rachel has a knack for retelling these stories in ways that make me want to cry, they’re so funny. And seriously, teenagers (and middle schoolers and grade schoolers, for that matter), are pretty hilarious. You need a friend like this to make you laugh, especially after a rough day that doesn’t allow you to go out with your drinking friends afterwards.

The Mom Friend: Some of us have like three of these; my position is that more is always better, in the case of the mom friend. Pretty self-explanatory: she’s the one who feels bad for you (even when it’s probably your fault that you’re in this particular situation), brings you Starbucks just because, and regularly compliments you on your outfit. Sally, cheers to you.

I haven’t covered all of them, but this is a start. Hopefully you’ll make your own list and then tell your friends what category they’re in…and tell them how grateful you are to work together.

2 Replies to “Why You Need These Kinds of Teacher Friends”

  1. Excellent post and I am so excited to have made your list. It is important, especially during these unsettling times, to have a tribe- people who you can count on not only professionally but also spiritually. For me, you were certainly part of my tribe at SMSSS. Your way with students and never missing an opportunity to make someone feel the love of Christ meant so much to us. We love you and God bless!

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